Dads & Doulas
When interviewing clients, probably one of the most commonly voiced concerns we hear is that the couple is afraid that by hiring a doula, Dad will be relegated to the sidelines, not able to be as hands-on and involved as he would like. Or, maybe they're concerned that hiring a doula will interfere with the intimacy of the birth.
Honestly, we love questions like these because it tells us that Dad does want to be involved! And let me tell you, there is nothing sweeter than seeing a couple working together, totally in tune with each other, to bring their baby Earthside. Tender touches, sweet words of encouragement whispered in her ear... it's like a special glimpse into their souls and the bedrock of their relationship. We treasure it.... and we protect it.
Our job as a doula is to support the couple and their birth wishes. We help Dad help Mom. We facilitate him being involved as much, or as little, as the couple desires. We liken our work to that of a trail guide- we're familiar with the path and we're there to guide. We can't hike it for you but we can help you navigate over some of the rough and bumpy parts. A doula could never take the place of the partner- they know each other better than anyone else. But, Dads aren't doulas.
Just as we couldn't step in and make Mom the perfect cup of coffee or know exactly how she likes her eggs, Dad probably doesn't know what to do when her contractions hurt more in the back than the front or how to help her when she's been "stuck" at 6cm with a wonky contraction pattern (that's totally a clinical term, btw).